It is better to have farted and lost
Then to never have farted at all.
A Belch is but a gust of wind
That cometh from the Heart,
But should it take a downward turn,
Turneth into a Fart
Pardon me for being rude
it was not me, it was my food
it just popped up to say hello,
and now it's gone back down below
Farting can be fun
Be it silent or loud
You can do it on the run
by yourself or in a crowd
Some are very dry
and some are wet
some can make you cry
and some will make you sweat
so eat some spicy food
and try hard to let one go
yes, farting is rude
but it's fun don't you know...
A chemistry student named Tate,
was heard to remark to his date,
"Because of the stink,
a fart is, I think,
just poop in it's gaseous state."
Here I sit,
Same as ever
Took a dump
And pulled the lever,
The toilet clogged,
The water flowed,
Look out world it's the mother load!
As I sat on the bog one day
Having a good old dump
I heard a voice from down below
It didn't half make me jump
And there I spied a talking turd
I thought it rather potty
It said "I don't want to die"
And jumped back up my botty.
A fart is a musical instrument,
It comes from the island of bum,
It travels down the valley of trouser leg,
Whilst making a musical hum.
There once was a lady of class,
Who had quite a bad case of gas!
She lifted one cheek,
And attempted "The Sneak"
And got a brown stain of her!
There was a young fellow from Sparta,
A really magnificent farter,
On the strength of one bean,
He'd fart God Save the Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.
I sat by the Duchess at tea,
She asked: "Do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit:
"Do you belch when you shit?"
I felt it was one up for me.
On the subject of farts - one last item;
they've got to come out, so why fight'em?
You can blast them out loudly,
and boast of them proudly,
or if you're so inclined, you can light'em!